Height: 5'5" Bra: 34B Shoes: 8 1/2 Ethnicity: Australian Swallows!

Monica Mayhem's Porno 4 Portables Photos and Videos

6/13/2010 - Specs Appeal brings you Monica Mayhem — Here's the thing about being cockeyed and having to wear glasses. Eye exams are quite inconsistent. For instance, our intrepid reporters uncovered the fact recently that luscious Monica Mayhem was wearing specs. No big deal there because hot chicks look even hotter in seductive eyewear. But here's where the international dateline comes into play. Being from Australia, Monica took her eye exam in the states and being Australian, she had difficulty reading the American charts. And so she was prescribed for lenses when, in fact, it was the language that presented the problem. Now, being as vain as the next chick, Monica squawked about what eyeglasses might do to her image. But the first time she had them on, a mugger drew a gun and wanted to sodomize her face down in a pile of garbage. Ordinarily that wouldn't have happened, but Monica drew the conclusion that it was her glasses that brought out the beast

6/03/2010 - Specs Appeal brings you Monica Mayhem — Porn chicks with physical and mental defects are God's way of telling a man he's got too much money. When the ultra hot Monica Mayhem hinted that she might need eye glasses, a fan who just happened to dabble in optometry for a hobby, got wind of it and volunteered to buy Monica a corrective lens manufacturing franchise. You might have read about it. Of course there were the usual strings attached because we are talking about porn chicks whose idea of barter is the exchange of functioning body parts for favors rendered. You can take this concept any of a number of ways, but all the said fan requested was a personal fashion show with Monica dolling up like a sexy corporate CEO. Frankly, had we been in a similar situation, the subject of nude Lasik surgery might have been thrown into the deal. But that's us.

10/16/2009 - Barefoot Confidential brings you Monica Mayhem — The saucy Aussie Monica Mayhem has pretty feet. Which is a rarity because most women from down under tend to have feet like marsupials. But this was not for us to tell Monica because she was likely to crack us over the head with a Foster's Lager beer bottle. In any event, we got Monica to bare her feet for this video. It took a lot of convincing and a lot of cold hard cash. From the money world, Monica certainly knows the value of green and ten perfectly enhanced non-green toes. It's our humble opinion that women should take their shoes off more often and check to see what they've got down there. Barring a bad case of fungus, they could be walking on a goldmine.